To be really honest...I'm tired. No, no - not like the kind of tired you get with out much sleep. Its not a nap I need. Uh, more like a change of season: a transformation.
See for years I've gone from event to event. I've managed logistics, toured the country, gone abroad, written grants, pioneered special projects and all the while been a full-time student and then at some level have been in ministry. Every week for two years, I've been involved in weekly worship planning and I've hosted a major event each semester. I've also booked countless out of town retreats, seminars, and conferences in the past five years. I'm tired of it all.
For the past year I've been in major transition. I've had profound changes in relationships. I've shifted my understanding of my calling and expanded relationships - including forming some amazing mentoring relationships. But the thing is, this has really taken alot out of me.
I'm worn and tattered from years of trying to hard. I'm tired now from my addiction of going no where fast.
Try breathing in.
Now breath out.
Out again.
Breath out again.
out again.
and again
and again.
...hurts doesn't it. Not much there anymore, huh?
Bridge
Page France, "Come, I'm a Lion" (2005)
there's a narrow bridge that leads me to your doorbetween the apple trees and poison leaves that formaround my shoulders as they toss me back and forth they bring me pleasure and they always keep me
warm
warm
there's a cashman
there are quick cures
there are taste tests
there are trashwhores
there is numbness
there is feeling
there is sickness
there is healing
and i'm halfway to you
but i'm takin' a break
where i walk with a limp
and i sleep with the stakes
and i blow up my lungs
with the air that i need
and my dreams i'm on knees
and i'm washing your feet
with my hair
and i'm not pleased with all of my addictions
all of my addictions
all of my addictions
and i'm not pleased with all of my addictions
all of my addictions
all of my addictions
there are sunbeams
there are dark clouds
there are voices
there are no sound
sand i'm stable
so you want me
yes i'm stable
while you want me
and i'm upright
while you're downsized
while you're downsized
i am uprighti'm the cashman
you're quick cure
you're taste test
and i'm the trashwhore
and i don't feel a thing
but i want to be real
and i don't feel a thing
but i want to be real
and i don't feel a thing
but i want to be real
and i don't feel a thing
but i want to be realas you
are
are
from the dust...
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Saturday, February 17, 2007
new friends
The Community at Intermission had a week of incredible connections. We hosted the annual theology symposium at TLU and led conversations and a learning party on "the emerging church". Karen Ward (Church of the Apostles) and Nate Frambach (Wartburg Theological Seminary) were our lead learners and we also had two awesome special guests: Paul Soupiset (emergentSan Antonio) and Aaron Strumpel (www.aaronstrumpel.com)
The event was largely conversations all revolving around "what does it mean to be church in the 21st century?". We talked about worship, new monasticism, the arts, leadership and "church ecclesiology". There were about 50-75 who participated in the sessions and we closed with a memorable worship with Aaron leading music, prayer stations, a conversation about John's ressurection account and then The Meal.
From that closing worship: check out John, Ch. 20 and then think...
By what name does God call you?
and What does God do to get your attention?*
*[from conversational message led by Dr. Nate Frambach, Wartburg Theological Seminary]
I'm still processing the entire thing, but our community here in Seguin added many new friends including...
Karen Ward, Church of the Apostles
Nate Frambach, Wartburg Theological Seminary
Jim Taylor, Mosaic Community Church
Chris Breedlove, San Antonio pastor
Paul Soupiset (not really new...), emergentSA
We all met for lunch at ChiroJava and then we even went up to the second story of the building and dreamed of possibilities for that facility and whether we might try to occupy it in the near future. More on that to come...
T
The event was largely conversations all revolving around "what does it mean to be church in the 21st century?". We talked about worship, new monasticism, the arts, leadership and "church ecclesiology". There were about 50-75 who participated in the sessions and we closed with a memorable worship with Aaron leading music, prayer stations, a conversation about John's ressurection account and then The Meal.
From that closing worship: check out John, Ch. 20 and then think...
By what name does God call you?
and What does God do to get your attention?*
*[from conversational message led by Dr. Nate Frambach, Wartburg Theological Seminary]
I'm still processing the entire thing, but our community here in Seguin added many new friends including...
Karen Ward, Church of the Apostles
Nate Frambach, Wartburg Theological Seminary
Jim Taylor, Mosaic Community Church
Chris Breedlove, San Antonio pastor
Paul Soupiset (not really new...), emergentSA
We all met for lunch at ChiroJava and then we even went up to the second story of the building and dreamed of possibilities for that facility and whether we might try to occupy it in the near future. More on that to come...
T
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
i'm posting.
its been a while since my last post.
i am frequently aprehensive about posting because i am constantly discovering and re-discovering the definition of community and what it means in my life.
as i sit here blogging, i am at work. i know, tis-tis penny, tis-tis. for those of you who don't know I work at the Dorothy Day House of Hospitality- it is a men's homeless shelter here in moorhead, mn. the house was built in 1908 and is beautiful. Back in the day i'm sure it belonged to the mayor or a rich doctor or someone to that status...currently it houses up to ten men who are homeless or in a temporary spot of struggle.
sometimes when i am at work i try and imagine what this house was like before it was a shelter. i picture little kids dressed in their nice clothing, with curly golden locks of hair, sitting with their parents by the fireplace in the living room. this is my stereotypical midwestern, high society family that i imagine. but this family loves each other; they talk and they laugh alot.
in the midst of my thoughts and daydreams, i realize that this house hasn't changed much. sure there are no curly, golden hair children living here, but there are men who have laid down their lives for the Lord, men who struggle with addiction, men who don't know where to go or how to change their situations. there are men in community with each other, building each other up with encouragement and love everyday. it amazes me to see how the Lord touches my heart through these guys here- they are showing me what community really is.
it's beautiful.
in this big , old, brown house, community is beautiful and intense.
its been a while since my last post.
i am frequently aprehensive about posting because i am constantly discovering and re-discovering the definition of community and what it means in my life.
as i sit here blogging, i am at work. i know, tis-tis penny, tis-tis. for those of you who don't know I work at the Dorothy Day House of Hospitality- it is a men's homeless shelter here in moorhead, mn. the house was built in 1908 and is beautiful. Back in the day i'm sure it belonged to the mayor or a rich doctor or someone to that status...currently it houses up to ten men who are homeless or in a temporary spot of struggle.
sometimes when i am at work i try and imagine what this house was like before it was a shelter. i picture little kids dressed in their nice clothing, with curly golden locks of hair, sitting with their parents by the fireplace in the living room. this is my stereotypical midwestern, high society family that i imagine. but this family loves each other; they talk and they laugh alot.
in the midst of my thoughts and daydreams, i realize that this house hasn't changed much. sure there are no curly, golden hair children living here, but there are men who have laid down their lives for the Lord, men who struggle with addiction, men who don't know where to go or how to change their situations. there are men in community with each other, building each other up with encouragement and love everyday. it amazes me to see how the Lord touches my heart through these guys here- they are showing me what community really is.
it's beautiful.
in this big , old, brown house, community is beautiful and intense.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Returning to the Conversation
Its been a while since I (or anyone else for that matter) has posted here. Its been a short season of being sent - and now 2 of the 3 of us who were traveling are back. Nate returned this weekend after a month at Holden Village in remote Washington state. After talking with him briefly on the phone I can not wait for him to post his reflections here.
In the past few weeks the community at Intermission ClayPeople Community has taken many steps of faith...I'll recap them here:
As of January 24th, Intermission ClayPeople Community is in official relationship with the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. Many of us in the Community have a deep history with the ELCA - its a familty and brings with it a rich hertitage of reformation which we really value. We are particularly thankful to Ruben Duran (ELCA Churchwide offices) and Steve Kanuouse (SW Texas Synod Mission Director) for walking along side us, for affirming us in our ministry, and taking a risk on a few crazy young adults who are passionate about what God is doing in Seguin.
We've entered into a "mutual-learning" relationship with a congregation of the United Methodist Church. Through my friend, Dan Harrington, our two communities have committed to walking side by side, sharing our stories together, and listening/praying together as we start new churches.
We've created a Council of Elders! We been blessed with wonderful mentors and key adults who have been very instrumental in shaping Intermission. Now, some of those have been called and commissioned into a Council who will help us in accountability of ELCA funds, visioning our future, and mentoring us through our transition season. Who are they you ask?
Pastor Greg Ronning, spiritual director - Greg is a close mentor to much of our leadership and continues to serve as our spiritual director and friend in this ministry
Dan Harrington - Dan invited Intermission to help create a new worship at First United Methodist-Seguin with the youth there. Now the worship - called The Journey - has had three runs and is a pilot for what worship might look like in a new church plant with FUMC. His spiritual friendship is now part of our community.
Ron Quiros, leadership coach - As I learn my new role as "abbot" (spiritual guide), I am being coached by Ron in communication, transition management, listening, and servant leadership. His friendship and partnership has always been great and its wonderful to have him on our Council
Rozella White (in discernment) - Rozella is on the synod staff of the Gulf Coast Synod and has been an advocate for us and other innovative young adult ministries. From Houston she's kept up with us and has always give amazing insights for me and my ministry. We've asked her to pray and discern joining our Council and we're waiting to hear back from her - Please pray with us.
As you can see its been a busy, but incredibly fruitful time for us at Intermission. More from my experience at Nicaragua and from the ground here in Seguin to come.
On the way...
Tim
In the past few weeks the community at Intermission ClayPeople Community has taken many steps of faith...I'll recap them here:
As of January 24th, Intermission ClayPeople Community is in official relationship with the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. Many of us in the Community have a deep history with the ELCA - its a familty and brings with it a rich hertitage of reformation which we really value. We are particularly thankful to Ruben Duran (ELCA Churchwide offices) and Steve Kanuouse (SW Texas Synod Mission Director) for walking along side us, for affirming us in our ministry, and taking a risk on a few crazy young adults who are passionate about what God is doing in Seguin.
We've entered into a "mutual-learning" relationship with a congregation of the United Methodist Church. Through my friend, Dan Harrington, our two communities have committed to walking side by side, sharing our stories together, and listening/praying together as we start new churches.
We've created a Council of Elders! We been blessed with wonderful mentors and key adults who have been very instrumental in shaping Intermission. Now, some of those have been called and commissioned into a Council who will help us in accountability of ELCA funds, visioning our future, and mentoring us through our transition season. Who are they you ask?
Pastor Greg Ronning, spiritual director - Greg is a close mentor to much of our leadership and continues to serve as our spiritual director and friend in this ministry
Dan Harrington - Dan invited Intermission to help create a new worship at First United Methodist-Seguin with the youth there. Now the worship - called The Journey - has had three runs and is a pilot for what worship might look like in a new church plant with FUMC. His spiritual friendship is now part of our community.
Ron Quiros, leadership coach - As I learn my new role as "abbot" (spiritual guide), I am being coached by Ron in communication, transition management, listening, and servant leadership. His friendship and partnership has always been great and its wonderful to have him on our Council
Rozella White (in discernment) - Rozella is on the synod staff of the Gulf Coast Synod and has been an advocate for us and other innovative young adult ministries. From Houston she's kept up with us and has always give amazing insights for me and my ministry. We've asked her to pray and discern joining our Council and we're waiting to hear back from her - Please pray with us.
As you can see its been a busy, but incredibly fruitful time for us at Intermission. More from my experience at Nicaragua and from the ground here in Seguin to come.
On the way...
Tim
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