A Season of Being Sent

For those of you out there who are walking along side us and keep in touch through this blog, I want to take a minute to tell you about the upcoming season for ClayPeople Community. The season might best be described as a "season of being sent"...

Nate and I just spend four days at his home in Scotia, New York where we spent some time creating, praying and discerning our ministry project for this summer. Our current thought is to be in Minneapolis.

On Saturday Tim leaves for a two week stay in Nicaragua. He'll be there with Lutheran World Relief and their partners on a fair trade coffee coop. This is his first ministry experience outside of the US!...very excited.

Courtney will be spending the semester in Egpyt and the Middle East studying and being with the people there. Maybe she'll post her tentative itinerary on the blog so you all can pray for her. Maybe she'll let out her mailing address too.

Nate will be spending the month of January at Holden Village, a retreat village in the mountains of Washington State. He'll be taking a class through St. Olaf on spirituality there. He won't have email or phone access...snail mail only. We'll get that address up so people can send love out his way.

This is an exciting time to support one another in our discernment and ministry together. More in the next few days from me (Tim) as I prepare for my trip and I'll also be blogging from Nicaragua! Paz y Amor.

Going Home

I've only got minutes before my ride comes to pick me up. Its the end of the semester and I'm going home. For some of my friends this is a weekend experience. But, for me, it only happens once or maybe twice a year. This is a big day.

By the time I return to my apartment on campus, I will have spend two weeks in Washington DC, a few days near Albany, NY, a possible side trip to Pittsburgh, PA and a two week stay in Managua, Nicaragua. My heart is starting to race faster when I think about these trip - each one has so much meaning in it - to be on a journey and to be going home.

When I get back, I'm hoping to leave again. I plan on trips to Seattle, WA and Atlanta, GA in January. Again, I'll pack my bags, check my e-ticket (for the third time), text message the weather forecast to my cell phone, and I'll head out on the journey. And then I'll come home again.

This rhythm of heading out and coming home might be speaking something to me about being the church. I can not avoid being sent. I can't avoid the journey. I must get ready, go, and come home. Each sending brings with it some fears and each one writes a chapter into my life that continually shapes who I am becoming.

The dishes are still piled up and the garbage must go out. Its time for me to go home, only to be sent again.

Tim

Thanks for My Mentors

As I wrap up another calendar year, I've been thinking about my journey over the past twelve months. I've covered some rough terrain. Its been a year since I changed majors and begun to think about what it means to follow Christ with my whole life. Along the way I've had some incredible mentors. I simply wouldn't be where I am with out the other characters (some of them indeed are quite a character) who have been performing on this stage of discipleship with me. Because I know there's many outside of our core community who read this blog, I want you all to know that if you're reading this you are a part of our community. These mentors that have shaped me are also a part of this community - its time you all meet some of the people who have shaped me.

So here they are... A special thanks goes out to all of them...I love them all dearly...I'd not be where I am with out you all! Thank-you.

Greg Ronning, our rockin' campus pastor
Greg has been an incredible mentor through-out the last year as Intermission has taken huge steps and he also was part of the mentoring team that I worked with this summer. He continues to invest in me and others around me in profound ways. Plus my dad and I went to the bar while he was in town, we had beers and watched Greg rock out with his charity rock band "The Harleys" - good times


Peggy Contos Hahn
Peggy has been walking along side me for the past five years. Many times she's walked along side from from a distance, but always with an eye out for me. She's always challenged me in ways I've never thought I could be challenged and her insistence on being a catalyst in this church and this world have be a profound impact.

Rozella White
Rozella, your friendship and your words of care and support are stunning. Your transparency and your grace is exactly what I'm looking for in communities to grow in. Thank-you for both the space and nurturing to grow.

Jenna Davis
Jenna was my "peer mentor" during my internship. Jenna, your tenderness, your deep insights, and your beautiful soul speak in unique ways to my worldview - thanks for pushing when I needed a push and listening when I needed an ear.

Aaron Strumpel
There aren't words to thank you Aaron. Your investment in me has sent me on a chase...a pursuit of this God who speaks out in love in ways I don't even understand yet. Your mentorship has shaped me in profound ways. Thank you for being patient with me, for walking with me, for challenging me, for tending both to my soul and my mind, for teaching me about community, for showing me how deep our artist-Creator-God speaks to us and for allowing me to be a speck on the radar of your journey. Thank-you. Thank-you. Thank-you.

Marc and Dana Reed
There isn't enough I can say about these two. Marc and Dana have been my spiritual father and mother. They have this distinct sense of call to be a father and mother to God's children in order to care for their hearts. Marc and Dana, thank-you for adopting me - for providing not only opportunities for ministry, but for your complete embrace. Your embrace must be exactly what God had in mind when He called his church to love for one another. You guys have blessed me more than you even know. I can't even wrap my mind around your love for God and his children. Thank-you for answer yes to God's call to be a spiritual father/mother ...thank-you.

There are others too...I'll save them for another shout-out.

with love,

Tim

Us versus Them

There has been two kinds of experiences that I've had with others from with in the Body of Christ, this community of believers - some might even call it "the church". Sometimes I get this vibe from people that not a thing could separate us, despite the differences in our pasts or where we come from or anything superficial like that. But then sometimes, I get this feeling in my stomach that its an "us versus them" game we're in. Its as if there were some kind of match going on and we're match-point, one away from winning this set and so the serve becomes aggressive. These places honestly scare me. It seems as if we're too often aiming at our brothers and sisters in Christ and trying to distinguish an "us" and "them" so that we can separate ourselves from "them" and build up ourselves.

I think we may be missing the point. But the thing is, there is no "us".

We are called out into the world. We must eat with the poor and hungry, we must walk with the immigrant wanderer, we must struggle with the addict, and associate ourselves with those of us who are alone: the widows who have no lovers, the orphans who have no fathers and the strangers who have no friends. Our efforts must undergo the same radical transformation that our paradigm has. There is no “us versus them” because its not about us and what we do. It turns out that there is only them. To be with them is what it means to be the church.

once upon a time there was a house in Minnesota that spewed forth love like no other.
and once upon a time I criticized myself for using the word "spewed" in a sentence.
how's this entry for intelligent and insightful?

Discerment...lately

There is no easy way to discern God's will for your life. It seems this whole idea of your "calling" is about as ambiguous as it gets. I used to think that a call meant God would email or fax me a job description. I was wrong. God's current callings for my life include many significant relationships and include a variety of responsibilities

My calling as...
a friend (to be availible, helpful, encouraging, fun, etc)
a roomate (to be responsible with keeping up my part of the apartment)
a son (to be in contact with the parent)
a brother (to be supportive, caring, etc to those I've shared life with growing up)
a student (to study, read, and be in relationship with professors)

But the thing is, fulfilling my responsibility in one calling may lead to a less than hoped for fulfilment of another one. I may decide to ignore the dishes and instead study. Its a good decision - but it neglects a calling. As I continue this journey I'll only be adding callings husband, father, professional, minister (of some sort???), colleague...the list could go on.

The only resolution for me in this tension has been to think of my calling in an entirely different way. I'm becoming aware that I'm called to BE; not to DO. This means that I accept the call to follow. That mean to trust, be transformed, and be willing to "go". Its not about what I do.

Lately...I've been thinking about my gifts. Mission Developing (or, starting new missions / ministries) seems to really fit the various chapters of my life that God has written into my story. However, it is possible that I will have to choose a path that I've never wanted (and I still don't). We had a candidadcy committee rep come talk to one of my theology classes. He said "don't do this unless you have to". Now is my time to resist, push and protest that path until I'm sure that there is no other way.

peace!

Back to Basix

I don’t know if you know this or not, but I am currently an advisor for a youth group at a local Lutheran church near my college. The youth group is made up of 70-90ish kids from 6th to 12th grade, plus a bunch of advisors (some former youth group members and some not). I decided not to be an advisor my freshmen year of college just because I wasn’t sure what the work load would be like, what college was all about, etc. So, after getting a handle on things, I was invited to be an advisor my sophomore year and jumped in. Before this year started, I struggled a lot with the decision to be an advisor again or not, simply because I was doubting the institution of the Lutheran church and struggled with my faith and my call to be a disciple and what the heck that meant. I decided to be an advisor, and it’s been one of my best decisions this year. It’s so renewing to go every week to hang out with kids and teach about Jesus. This year the theme is “Back to Basix”. We’re looking at the life of Jesus and what that means to us as his followers. This couldn’t have come at a better time in my life, and it’s awesome to talk about it with teenagers and hear their thoughts (since most of the disciples started out at their age anyway). I’ve found that there is a place for me in the institution of the church. Ever since I was a young teen, people have been telling me that I have some sort of gift with teenagers (a hard thing to be a part of in college life), so in a lot of ways, youth group has brought me home. And the relationships are incredible. I agree with Tim, it’s not about your church, it’s about people. Me being one of them. It’s easy to disagree with an institution, but much more difficult when you have relationships with people within them. What is an institution anyway without people?
And after some conversations this past week, we are certainly not the only people thinking these thoughts and asking these questions…maybe something’s happening.

I also had an interesting conversation with a friend about the way Christian language shapes our lives. In particular, what does the word “calling” mean? I’m a huge supporter and user of the word, as it really has shaped the way I view myself and God. But, does “calling” exist outside of a community?

Its not about your church!

Penny,your reflection on being uncomfortable has spilled over into my reflections about rethinking church. Its time for me to make a break with some others in our Christian family. God has written things into my story that I must continue to write. Now that I'm aware of my calling to write this story I MUST STOP ADVOCATING WHAT I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT I'D BE ADVOCATING. I simply can not go on advocating for communities to pull away from the church. If I'm honest with myself, its not about my own comfortability. It would be comfortable to pull away from the Lutheran church and do whatever it is I feel "called" to do. BUT, its not about comfortability. We need to stop thinking that this conversation is about our churches. Let me say that again. ITS NOT ABOUT YOUR CHURCH. Its not about your church because when we say that we mean our institutions, our structures and our messy shortcomings. But here's the deal. Its about people. Its about people even when we're in communities who aren't caring for people. If I want the church to change, I must begin the change by BEING the change. That is my calling. That is OUR calling as followers of Jesus. We can not be the change outside of those places that need it the most. Jesus calls us to BE the change IN the places where the change is needed the most.

- tim

Longing to be Uncomfortable

"God comforts the disturbed and disturbs the comfortable."
This quote has been roaming around my head and rattling my heart for the past 3 weeks.

When I went to Africa last year I was constantly uncomfortable with my surroundings, the heat, some cultural traditions, etc...but at the same time I was so comfortable with the lifestyle. A lifestyle that catered to love, fun, relaxation, and community. Infact, I promised not to let myself slide back into comfortability when I arrived home to the land of 'material'. I knew that I didn't want to come home and be the materialistic monster I once was, get busy with work and school, and forget about what was important to me -community.
Sometimes I forget what it is like to be free. To live day to day, not knowing what I am doing at 2 o'clock in the afternoon the following day. I let my schedule consume my life and yet I miss the adventure of life by way of sporadicness. I miss sitting under a shaded tree for hours, drinking water, dancing, laughing and loving with my brothers and sisters. Now, it seems as though I have to schedule in that precious time.
I know that my complaints can only be resolved through my own doings and efforts of minimizing my schedule, but it's a constant battle. Am I alone? I think not. I look around and see so many people longing for community. My own close friends say to me, "I wish we could hang out more often, but I need to study/I have to work/ (insert excuse here)". We are all falling into a trap of business and becoming distant from the gift-the beautiful gift of community we have around us
Recently, I find myself becoming more and more uncomfortable with my comforts everyday. Longing to be uncomfortable with the lifestyle I am leading. Longing for God to build up a resistance in my heart towards the "norm" and pressures of the society around me...
If being uncomfortable "materialistically" brings me joy, I take discomfort over comfort any day.

below is an email I sent out while I was in Africa and a few pictures just for fun:

" Yesterday we arrived back in Lome in the evening, after a packed week of singing and sharing the Gospel in some villages. The first village we stopped in was called Yobo, and we were greeted by fellow Christians when we arrived, they were eagerly awaiting us and welcomed us with cold water and smiles! In all villages we have to greet the Chief before we can go out into the village to do anything, we must tell him what were doing and then he decides if it’s ok. The Chief of Yobo was very laid back and told us we could go around his village and then he showed us his field of pineapples! We had a great time evangelizing in Yobo and stayed with a very wonderful family. They cooked for us, gave us a place to stay and treated us as their own family; it was our first host home experience so far and a great first…It was sad to leave them but they have definitely left a mark on my heart. We left Yobo after a two nights stay for Keve, a small village about 2 hours away. We arrived safely and were brought to another home, were we would be staying! It’s been really exciting staying with families, because we have been staying in guest homes for most of our stay in Africa-so interaction with people is great. The family we stayed with consisted of two widows, their children and some orphans, probably some of the most loving people I have met ever. One of the daughters name was Noelline, she was about 10 years old, and it was like having my sister around, in a fun sort of way. I got to play some hand clapping games, do hair, dance with her and what not-by the end of our stay she and I had become pretty good friends. Did I mention that she was also the one who washed everyone on the team’s laundry by hand? A ten year old washed my laundry cleaner than ive been able to get it the whole time ive been over here….I’m finding God shows his love through little people in big ways.

Love is the essence

I like everything we are about is Love. The love we have for each other spills over to those around us. Because of this, we never really need to know clearly where we are going or what exactly we are supposed to be doing. Love fits into every crack.

NEW Feature!

Now you can scroll all the way to the bottom of this page and view our latest video. We'll be posting videos from our gatherings, ministries - perhaps some random things too.

This video is from Intermission-TLU...the worshippers nailed their prayers to the cross. Listen in and hear the sound of nails being pounded against the backdrop of the beautiful strings instruments.

Freedom in Lovemaking...

From my friend Doug Pagitt at Soloman's Porch in Minneapolis and to my ClayPeople friends:

"And yet in this freedom, this sense of moving adead without knowing exactly where God will move things, there is security as there is in the best kind of lovemaking: a time of finding new surprises in a comfortable place, of the deepest intimacy, of resting secure in the knowledge that our efforts will not be rejected"

with love,

Tim

The New Orelans gathering

We've all safely returned from our first gathering...The New Orleans gathering. The time was simply profound, spiritual, impacting and challenging. You'll be able to read more from us in the coming days as we post stories, insights, revelations and prayers of the journey.

A special thanks to Marc and Dana, our wonderful spiritual mother and father, Anton and Sean - pastors at Hosanna Lutheran Church in Mandeville, Vicki Entzel - youth director at Hosanna, and all others we were priviledge to meet, dialogue with, and be a part of life together - even for a moment.

In the coming months we will be sending out more from this gathering - including a newsletter. We'll be releasing to all our friends, families, and partners what we've taken away from this gathering. Included in this will be thoughts on where God is calling us. Please pray for us in this time of deep discernment and conversation in order to test out this calling God has prepared for us.

shalom.

Tim

The Apostles

I've been diving deep into two areas in my recent discernment: the narrative themes God has been writting in the chapters of my life and the spiritual gifts God has given me. I'm increasingly convinced that I am called to the function of apostle. In Eph. 4, we get a 5 function understanding of gifts for the disciples of Christ. The role of apostle is one of a pioneer, entrepreuer, visionary and trans-local ministry. This hits home for me as I reflect on growing up, always moving from place to place and from my more recent "homelessness".

People ask me: "Tim, Where are you from?" or "So, where's home?". I don't have good answers to these questions. My childhood was in Texas, then Louisiana, then Mississippi (no laughs please...) and finally back to Louisiana - only to go to school in Texas. Meanwhile, growing up, family was in Ft. Worth, Pennsylvania, and Florida. Now, family is in Georgia (Andrew), Portland (Kevin), Washington, DC (Mom, Dad, Colin), Ft. Worth (Grandpa, Uncle/Aunt/Chad-cousin) and Ft. Lauderdale (other grandparents) and Pennsylvania (other Uncle Aunt/Cousin). On top of that I have mentors in Boulder, Mandeville, and friends scattered FAR beyond that. But I'm finding a profound joy as I am priviledged to connect people from all these places. All these places are my home.

Sitting around a noisy living room near New Orleans, I found myself with two mentors and their children (one adopted from China of course), a friend from high school, and two other friends - clay friends - from Pennsylvnia and Minnesota (but really New York). Gathered, we were the church, a hidden little gathering of conversation and faithful attempts at following Christ.

This is problematic though. My church has only boxed in ideas and roles of leadership -of which "the apostle" doesn't neatly fit. Where do I belong? How does all this fit in?

In One Week...

We'll be together. So here are some my reflections on the Kingdom...

Favorite imagery - The Family. There's something about families. I'm in the midst of redefining my own "family" as I begin to include some of my closest friends as brothers and sister, and mentors as Mothers and Fathers. It hard to fight with family. Underneath it all there's a special connect an innate kind of love that makes dialogue, tension and resolution happen.

Favorite Parable: The mustard seed. I'll do some biblical storytelling on this cause I love it so much..."for the birds of heaven to make their nests". What kind of nest are we building under the branches of the kingdom?

Favorite Play-on-words: King-dom is an odd translation. Mainly this is odd because Jesus as "king" has some odd implications. Also it implies a male dominated "reign" and brings back into the story of God's people to a well, less than hoped for time period. The whole Kingdom thing wasn't exactly great for Israel. I like Assai-Diaz's "kin-dom". While probably a looser translation, it gives a relationship to the family of God concept.

Clearly, to me anyways, Matthew isn't talking about heaven or hell, he's not talking about a politcal reign or any other sorta power reference, or any other Platonic-influenced concept. So what do I think he's talking about...you'll see.

TS

emergent|San Antonio

I just got back from an afternoon in th city (San Antonio) where at a suave coffeehouse that served up excellent Cuban panninis and the best fair trade coffee I've had, I sat down with six others from all aspects and walks of life. The reason: emergent|San Antonio - the cohort in the city facilitating the emerging church conversation. It was a great time and good conversation. Two of the conversants were over 60 - a graphic designer, a young couple, me and then a curious-but-hestitant-believer of sorts who has yet to find a place (community or church of any kind) to call home. We told our stories (the short versions), shared some book suggestions, and had an "on ramp" to this larger conversation that is happening - literally - all over the world. So today's reflection is to think about this thing we are...ClayPeople...not as an isolated little speck on the pallette of God's artistic creation; but rather part of a Globally-spread, diverse, and concerned movement of people who are passionate about rethinking this church thing. Not trying to be creepy in a honor-fiction-film kinda way but: We are not alone.

until next time

Reflections on the Kingdom

Last night I met with my Outreach Team, and we were challenged to think about what service means to us and put that into words to share with the group. In order to get us thinking and reflecting, Becky (our supervisor and friend) gave us a paper with some quotes from Henri Nouwen's "In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership", Shane Claiborne's "Irresistible Revolution", from the Word of God, and some reflective questions. Here are just a few thoughts from Henri Nouwen and my reading in Matthew.

"The long painful history of the Church is the history of people ever and again tempted to choose power over love, control over the cross, being a leader over being led" (Nouwen, 59).

"The vision of Jesus is not spread through organizational structures, but through touch, breath, shared life. It is spread through people who have discovered love" (Shane Claiborne).

What stuck out to me as I read Matthew:
"But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" (6:33).

"Thus you will know them by their fruits" (7:20 - talking about bad/good trees).

"Not everyone who says to me 'Lord, Lord' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven" (7:21- which is then followed by the example of the man who built his house on rock vs. the man who built his house on sand- one of my favorite passages of the entire Gospel).

My Cross, My Scars

When I look back on the past 9 months, the imagery of carrying my cross has been profoundly transforming...here is some very personal imagery that is emerging from my core:

[From My Journay Titled: Torn Pages (ask me sometime)]

Following this path has cost me a love of my life...at one time she was my everything. I was hers and she was mine. But that's a page that's been torn from the story of my life. The page is not there anymore, my love is not here, but you can tell when you rip out a page...its still there in the binding.

[in song lyrics]...

In front of me
Is more than I can see
Even more than I can dream
I will be her Adam and she will be my Eve

My Best is yet to come, yet to come
My Best is yet to come, she's yet to come.

Take me oh God up mountains
I'd never imagine to climb
And When I get up there
To the peak with her
Hand in hand we'll jump right off
and into Your vast unknown.

In front of me
Is more than I can see
Even more than I can dream
I will be her Adam and she will be my Eve

My Best is yet to come, yet to come
My Best is yet to come, she's yet to come.

For me the cross is about dying. Its about scars. Its about the transforming power of ressurection - new life. I wouldn't hope for such a thing and I wouldn't have it any other way. But I would pray the same prayer Jesus did:

Father, if there is any way for this cup to pass from me...if there is any other way...

Bearing your cross?

What does it mean to bear your cross? What does it mean and look like to deny yourself in how you live?

Hidden Church

Tim, great thoughts about the hidden church. I think many Christians agree that service is important and Christ provides us with a model of service. However, we oftentimes serve only within our own walls...never engaging culture or facing the injustice of structures. A thought from Shane Claiborne...It was never supposed to be about bringing people to church, but about the church going out to the people.

Gorgeous

ClayPeople Community
Wow Nate! Dusk and Summer is gorgeous. Thanks for putting it into words.

Two Reflections: Grace and The Hidden Church

These reflections come from dialogues in my Contemporary Theology class...Thanks to Dr. Phil Ruge-Jones for the Halle Berry example.

Grace::Not a Matter of Acceptance

One could say that grace is like this...If I were on a beach and along comes Halle Berry. She's not wearing much. And she walks up to me and tells me "We are going to make out." This is something so wonderful that it wouldn't be a question of "did you accept" - OF COURSE I DID! Rather though you'd be asking me what it was like. I might even brag a bit and tell you. Something this good, the gift of salvation from God is not a matter acceptance. That's the wrong question. Acceptance isn't the same as active participation - like that of making out with Halle.


The Hidden Church
From Forde's "Where God Meets Man"

Forde, relying much on Luther, draws a distinction between a hidden and revealed church. Something that is hidden is not obviously visible - however if you were to look in perhaps unexpected places...if you look in the right place, you can find it. Clues of where this "hidden" church may be can be found by looking for the marks it leaves. The church leaves its marks when it reveals itself is acts of liberation.

The true church is made up of those liberated by the good news. It is the communion of believers, the bearer of the proclamation of freedom and hope.

So what does this mean for us?

I think we are seeking to be intentionally hidden. The revealed (or institutional) church serves its purpose - but the hidden church also has its purpose in its abiliy to leave its marks in places where a revealed church can not go. The Church should consider commissioning "secret" agents of change - missionaries or sorts to intentionally be the hidden church. To go undercover into our culture and to leave our "marks" of "caring for the poor and the sick, prayer, praise, and bearing one's cross". Perhaps our questions of being called to "The Church" are too simplistic. If we adopt this twofold vision of The Church, perhaps we can really start asking questions of discernment.

Heaven We Have Problem: Part 2

In my first entry with this title I prayed this quote by Minnah Cuntu...

Christianity has been buried inside the walls of churches and secured with the shackles of dogmatism. Let it be liberated to come into the midst of us and teach us freedom, equality, and love.

I elaborated on this prayer in my journaling...
Buried beneath the debris of foundationalism - from the walls which are falling down. The walls of our churches are thicker than those of Berlin and Israel and more militarized than our southern Border.

Secured with the shackles of dogmatism - locked with the key of political power and chained with links of riligous piety, self-righteousness, and desperate presevation.

Let it be liberated from these places by people of clay - by this emerging generation. Lord let us be a generation of revolution...of movers and shakers...of Holy shit stirers and yet gracious lovers, tender caregivers, faithful servants, loving children - teaching freedom from stagnant places, equality with in The Body and love like we've never even imagined.



The pictures above where taken from INTERMISSION these past two weeks. I pray that in some way our ministry experiment with worship in these ways contributes to my prayers for The Church

Finally Together...Online.

Nate, Your blog is great...thanks for sharing. This community indeed is something special, a special call from God to be taking risks and to be re-imagining church. As we prepare the next few weeks to meet for the first time as ClayPeople Community I'm amazed at how far we've gone in just this short amount of time. A missional, holistic community...Mission in that we seek to sent first and gathered second. Holistic in that we seek to live lives centered on our calling to follow Christ - its about a spirituality not separated from the rest our lives.

Fences and Wells...
Ranches here in Texas have fences. These fences are to distinguish what cattle are in and out of a particular herd. They are to establish boundaries of where they can go and where they can not. But in Australia, the ranches could not possibly construct fences because the land area is to vast. Instead, they build wells. In their borderless fields the herd wonders freely and the ranchers do not worry because they know they will return to the well for water - to quench their thirst and be replenished for another day out in the fields.

I hope that this place, and this community, is a well and not a fench for us...for the church.

Look! I'm blogging.

this is cool! love you all.
court

Credos

I've been rethinking Creeds lately. The thing that strikes me about creeds is that they have an ability to connect us to those who have come before. But its more than that really...well it used to be. See I've thinking that our ancient brothers and sisters in Christ believed that that their hearts were actually the center of their being. Unlike mondern understanding that the brain contains what makes us human (the ability to speak language, think complex thoughts, etc.), for the ancient Christian "belief" meant committing the heart to. A literal translation here makes me think merely of committing my heart and my love to that belief. But committing the central essense of our being to something is different (for me anyways).

So a creed could be...

I committ my heart - that which is my center...my every essence of my being to God the Father Almighty, creator of heaven and earth...

I committ my heart - that which is my center...my every essense of my being to Jesus Christ...

I committ my heart - that which is my center...my every essence of my being to the church...

AMEN.

[a thought about "church" in this use. For myself I have to think about "church" as the followers of Christ and not simply a particular tradition or denomination. In this way I'm confessing to committ myself to the struggle, tension, messiness of being in relationship with people]

The Dust on My Feet

I just got home from a weekend leadership retreat with the LYO in my synod. The retreat was for youth, young adults and adults who serve on ministry teams. These ministry teams get training (at this retreat)and then a part of the youth gatherings. But while I participated with a team, I'm not sure thats why God called me to be there. Yet again, I'm curious if that wasn't an excuse to get me there so I could build relationships. - Here's some of my reflections from this past weekend.

[From video with Rob Bell]

In Matthew's gospel, Jesus walks on water during a storm - the disciples are in a boat. Peter eventually walks out into the water and starts to walk on water. BUT, after a strong gust of wind he gets scared and he starts sinking. Jesus says: "You of little faith. Why did you doubt?"

I've heard this story many times...but Rob Bell points out that the Jewish culture understood something unique here. Jewish boys memorized the Torah - and if they were good enough would be chosen to learn more. Eventually they would approach a Rabbi and ask to be their disciple - because they admired that Rabbi and wanted to do the things of that Rabbi. This is a great parallel to the kind of Rabbi Jesus was. Instead he calls the disciples (who have been overlooked for disicpleship before - they already failed the test)SO this is important when Peter starts walking on water. HE IS DOING THE THINGS HIS RABBI IS DOING. Jesus called the disciples believing in them - that they could indeed do this very thing called discipleship. When he starts sinking, its not that he is doubting Jesus - Jesus is STILL walking on water right there in front of him. He doubts that he could really be like Jesus.

Are we walking on water and starting to doubt that indeed we are meant to do this calling?

I went on two walks with one my mentors. This mentor is not on my mentoring team whom I see often and they is a mutual covenant for mentorship in place. Anyways, the first walk we were with a friend - dreaming about the possibility of creating a permanent relationship between an El Paso border ministry and a Katrina effected congregation. The second walk was this morning. I told her about ClayPeople and where we are. She gave some great, challenging questions. This mentor really has gifts with organization. More than anything though I got my feet covered in dust. I couldn't help but think this was the kind of teaching that Jesus did. Long walks, dusty feet and hard questions. Until the whole walking on water thing...I wonder if walking on water means getting your feet covered in dust?

A New Season for Me

So its Sunday evening and early next week I begin my journey to school. I'll be in New Orleans catching a few people before heading off to Ft. Worth, Texas to spend some just a couple of days with my grandparents. Finally a week from today I'll arrive back on campus. I'm anxious. I'm nervous. I'm ready. I'm excited. This is going to be a new season for me.

I say its going to be a "new season" for me because not only do my surrounding look different (new relationships, new focues of energy, etc) but the season of my heart is also different. These days my heart yearns for very different things. I find myself yearning for more routine, more/deeper relationships on campus, for community, and even to be challenged in my faith journey. This is all quiet different from my old self. With the coming of a new season of course comes the close of the old. I do lift up my prayers of thanks to God for my past season - it brought me to where I am and blessed me richly. So here's goodbye to the old season which looked a bit like this...

This past season saw my life centered around various spining satellites around me: extra cirriculars, a music major, a serious girlfriend, an anorexic social life, and ministry with Intermission (me as "leader") and the Lutheran Youth Organization/ELCA. I had little time for people. I did not understand the sabbath. I invested a great deal of myself into things in various, scattered areas.

It's my hope that this season will bring me to new places - up mountains I've never dreamed of climbing. Its my prayer that God would bless me with companions, community, to make the journey with. Its my hope that this is a season of streamlined and focused life and ministry. Its my prayer that God slow me down. Its my hope that this community will be a significant part of this new season. I pray for you all - that God would sustain you in your journies.

peace friends.

Tim

Distinguishing Ideas on "Community"

I found these to be help in understanding "community" versus group, team, etc.

Formation
Communities are voluntarily connected in search of genuine and meaningful experiences.

Focus
Communities add qualitative relationships, meaning, and experiences, to the oranization, organism, or movements to which they are connected.

Membership
Communities have no bound membership and people tend to come and go based on their continuing interest in the journey.

Outside Assistance
Communities align with champions or advocates (partners, stakeholders) who come alongside them for the long-term relationship and journey

Recruitment
Communities look for people of passion who want to have fun to bring exciting experiences to community participants and a spiritual strategic journey

Benefits
Communities benefit ministries and congregations by providing more enthusiasim and meaningful relationships with in them.

Style of Work
Communities dialouge, engage in discernment activities and arrive at the best solutions for a particular opportunity or challenge.

Does this sound like the nature of our community?

Tim

The Journey

Excerpts from "The Celtic Way of Prayer" (De Waal)

The monastic life has always been that of continual conversation, moving on, the never-ending transformation of the old into the new...It is also surprising and risky, not necessarily following any clear-cut pattern of having some end and goal in view so that the purpose can be clearly established and then followed. [Lets take a look at] the Celtic understanding of peregrinatio, a word and concept found no where else in Christendom.

The word itself is almost untranslatable, but its essence is caught in the ninth-century story of three Irishmen drifting over the sea from Ireland for seven days, in coracles with out oars, coming ashore in Cornwall and then being brought to the court of King Alfred. When he asked them where they had come from and where they were going they answered that they: "stole away because we wanted for the love of God to be on a pilgrimage, we cared not where."

It seems to me that we to want for the love of God to be on a pilgrimage - may God granted us the will to care not where.

And from my journal:

(song lyrics from entertheworshipcircle)

"When I was a baby you held me close
When I was just a child you showed the way I should go
When I'm old and grey you'll never leave me
You're right by my side

How am I gonna thank you
If I can't get my arms around you

I know that you saved me
but I don't know, I don't know
How far you had to reach
I swim in your deep love
But I don't know, I don't know
How far or how deep
I know that you're good, Lord
But I don't know, I don't know
why you're so good to me"

with wonder,

Tim

"Heaven, We Have a Problem"

For the next few days I'm committing to daily prayer and solitude for at least an hour. Today I stumbled upon this prayer:

Christianity has been buried inside the walls of our churches and secured with the shackles of dogmatism. Let it be liberated to come into the midst of us and teach us freedom, equality, and love

amen.

"The Search to Belong"

[from Tim Snyder] After a long 3 weeks in San Antonio, Texas I find myself in Mandeville, LA - my hometown. Four months ago I had an epiphany of sorts in this place. Among church family, I found a sense of belonging I had not found...people were asking me what I had been up to (what a loaded question...they had no idea...) and were giving me hugs and inviting me over for BBQ. It was here in this place that I discovered a new vision of community. I suddenly was looking beyond screaching vocals from the praise band, talkative youth in the back row, and a new building I was unfamiliar - I had seen the love of their hearts and I was touched. This community I had found (Hosanna Lutheran Church - www.hosannalutheran.com) followed up with this love when they financially partnered with me in my missionary internship. They continue to love, support, and pray for me. But why?

I'm learning a lot about "community" lately. From that Easter epiphany to my time in Colorado and Minneapolis God has been speaking to me in profound ways. I've been reading this book, "The Search to Belong" and I've been blown away. THe book rethinks intimacy, community and small groups in some really radical ways. After only the first chapter I'm already looking at my own sense to belong in different ways. Here's a taste:

Myers (the author) talks about public, social, private, and intimate belonging. I'm not sure I fully understand my own sense of belonging yet, but I am sure of this. ClayPeople Community - Nate, Courtney, and Penny give me this deep sense of belonging on what Myers would call the "intimate" level. Intimacy we these friends is an unusually deep, loving, and authentic feeling I'm just beginning to know. Just as I found a new sense of belonging in Mandeville with my church family, I am finding a new sense of belonging with this ClayPeople Community - my new ministry family.

Buzzz, Buzzz - at 4:24pm today my cell phone's alarm went off as I was sitting in Starbucks with another close friend of mine from high school (one of those few you actually kept up with) and we stopped our conversation to pray. In that moment I felt an awesome connection to God, to my friends who I know also did the same today.

What exactly we are doing I have no idea...What our mission or purpose is could be described in vague ideas at best...but I can tell people about our intimacy, about who we are, and about our passion to rethink community, church, and ministry.

So, I close with words which fall short of describing my heart's real feelings...but it's all I have so THANK-YOU Nate, Courtney, and Penny for your friendship and willingness to be on this wild journey. I can't wait to see what's going to happen. I love you all very much and I in this community of ours I feel a deep, intimate sense of belonging. So lets journey, dialogue, dance, sing, and go. Now if we only knew where...


with a sense of belonging,

Tim

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